I grew up in a small town in the North East of India. My grandparents had a beautiful life back in East Bengal (now Bangladesh). They had to leave all their life’s possessions within one fatal night and run for their lives during the 1947 partition in India. They had to do it for a few reasons:
- They were Hindus and weren’t willing to convert their religion.
- They did not want to give up their Indian identity.
Little did they realize the cost of their choice then. Life turned topsy turvy after that decision; they had to turn refugees in their own country. Poverty struck hard and thus began a life of extreme hardship. All attempts for bettering circumstances fell short, and soon, 20 years passed, fighting for a life of economic. My family’s journey of not being inclusive in our own county began here.
Mankind often has found reasons to differentiate between one another. However, with a little self-awareness, it would be obvious to see more similarities than differences among us.
For me, growing up in Assam, the North Eastern state was full of risks and uncertainty. The state was often marred with communal violence, clashes between different tribal groups, and revolutionary rebel organizations operating there. The constant presence of such danger affected the psyche of the entire population living in Assam for decades.
My growing up years in Assam looked like this:
- At least 5 to 10 days curfew in a month
- Extremist activities like murders, kidnapping, bombing, etc.
- Didn’t see teachers in the school more often
- Did not have free access to playgrounds because it was not safe
- Forced to stay all the time indoors just to be safe
In 2006, after my graduation, my parents realized that we (both my sister and I) would not be able to have a decent career if we remained in Assam. Within a month, they decided to move both my sister and me to India’s southern part in Bangalore. Until that time, we never lived alone, and staying so far away from family gave us shudders. It was a massive step for both my sister and me. We both were confused, afraid, and excited at the same time. We looked forward to what this new world had to offer us.
When I moved to Bangalore, I expected a more peaceful and welcoming city without fear of life. I expected a town that would treat us with equal opportunities just like any other person living in the city. But we were in for a shock. Soon I realized that the natural tendency of fellow humans is to differentiate and discriminate. My sister and I found it difficult to rent an apartment, as we came from that part of neglected India, which was not considered India enough. We were called out for our choice of clothes, eating preferences, behaviors and mannerisms, and the choice of people we met and socialized with. It was nearly impossible for us to convince any landlord to rent out a flat by ourselves until we brought some of our local friends from that state to vouch for us. Each time that happened, I wondered why this discrimination amongst the same citizenry.
The next phase of my life began with the start of my professional career in 2008. I had to deal with ancient prejudices of categorizing people based on looks, religion, caste, state, gender, educational background, et all. Getting bullied by the majority in a group was a common form of aggression towards the minority, no matter what.
I wasn’t prepared for this; I was devastated and psychologically messed up. My first job turned out to be an emotional nightmare. Gradually, I developed coping mechanisms and began dealing with them. I attempted by trying to have open conversations and trying to present commonalities and building healthy relationships. Some of these mechanisms helped me wonderfully in my second job. And I began to think that I got the mantra to deal with life.
To my disappointment, it didn’t work all the time, especially in my personal and social life.
It triggered a deep-seated interest in understanding and researching more about the topic of inclusion and human behavior towards biases, discrimination, and inclusion. And this was the beginning of my journey of being inclusionist for life.
